Rule #1: Never sing a Whitney Houston song

I'm going to just lay it out there:


I like to watch American Idol.


Sorry "cool people", but there it is. I Tivo it. I look forward to it. Sometimes I go back and watch my favorite part again. Hate me if you must, but I will no longer pretend. No, Ryan Seacrest doesn't bug me. I think he's like a clever little sexually-ambiguous elf. Very attractive in a happy elf sort of way. Paula is practically incoherent and obviously heavily medicated most of the time. But that's part of the fun, don't you see? And yes, I would sleep with Simon.

Okay maybe not. But I like him.

And I know that you know what I'm talking about. Oh yes.

Frankly when people say they never watch TV and they don't know any TV shows my bullshit meter starts to play the Macarena. It's annoying, I know. I can't figure out how to change the song on that thing.