I had a problem for a while with accidental voice mails. I would get several of these inadvertent voice mails every week, sometimes several in one day. They were long and full of vague background noises. Obviously someone was accidentally dialing my phone.
My Stepmom used to do that. I'd answer the phone and hear her yelling out the answers to Jeopardy somewhere in the distance. I knew it was her because her name showed up the caller ID. And because she always misses all the literature questions, but she nails Potpourri. There's meaning in there somewhere, I just can't quite grasp it.
But later when I started getting these 10 times a week accidental voice mails, it always said "restricted number". No help. But it had to be someone who had me on speed dial. Someone I knew, one would hope. I listened carefully for clues. There was a lot of chatter and whooshing noises. Ooh, and maybe a fax machine? Or just screechy feedback? It sounded like they were calling from an office.
I just couldn't crack the mystery. And the frustrating part is I never heard it ring! I wanted to catch them in the act of accidental dialing so I could yell into the receiver, "HEY MORON! YOU CALL ME LIKE 3 TIMES A DAY AND LEAVE LONG EMPTY MESSAGES! GET A CLUE!" I mean who doesn't know how to use a cellphone?
Then one day I got a break on the case. The beep beep of missed call and a voice mail waiting. I listen. This time the chatter is clearer. Whooshing noises, yes. Fax machine? Screechy feedback? Wait! There's music. I recognize it! It's sounds like the Yodeling song from The Sound of Music. In fact I'm certain of it. The chatter....I distinctly make out the word "Mommy". I look into the backseat of my car. At my children staring up at the video screen. Watching the Sound of Music. I felt all the color drain out of my face as I realized that it wasn't screechy feedback. Or fax machines.
It was me.
Singing along with the Yodeling Goatherd in the Sound of Music. Egads.
When I later told my husband, he laughed for about an hour straight. Then, when he able to speak again, he asked me the obvious question, "How could you possibly be calling yourself 3 times a day without knowing it?!"
My only defense (for the dialing, there is no defense for the singing) is that it's an exposed keypad and it gets mushed in my purse and accidentally speed dials. Myself. Good Lord, is it possible that I wasn't only dialing myself but also other people programmed into my speed dial. And leaving them all messages of my Sound of Music sing-a-longs? Like my brother, my friend Emily, the Macaroni Grill, or my obstetrician's office?
It's a good thing I've been conditioned by a lifetime of goofiness to handle these sorts of things in stride. Otherwise it would have been really embarrassing.
By the way, now I have a flip phone.
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11 comments:
That is a sweet scene..
mini-van
munchkins
the hills alive
but, I still don't get how you call yourself.
your number is in your phone?
and you have yourself on speed dial.
your cellphone to your cellphone?
that has some meaning in it.
Loren you are my bestest blog buddy. Seriously.
Yes, I know it seems improbable. And I still don't really understand how it all worked. I mean, no, I never programmed my own cell phone number into a speed dial. To my knowledge.
It's one of those infinite number of monkey things I guess.[
Somehow, I don't think this is a mistake a monkey would make. And I'm not just saying that because I happen to have one fronting for me.
Priceless.
By-the-way, I am one of those people who don't know how to use a cell phone. I was all proud of myself the day I learned how to assign different ringtones to different people. Now my phone doesn't ring at all.
Now if you re-publish the pool nanny story here I promise to leave a comment like I've never read it before.
No your average monkey would be smarter. But if you had an infinite number of monkeys with cell phones...at one one would be dumb enough to call herself a few times a day without knowing it. Right? (Or am I just fooling myself?)
I did it! I lured you away. At least briefly. :)
Boy I'm getting schooled. I just clicked your photo and followed links of you and caffeine monkey all around the world wide web. At one point I think we ascending Everest and then, blink, here we are back at blogspot. I had no idea you existed in so many dimensions.
my friend Amy accidently calls me from her purse all the time. I always get these long voicemails of background noise. If I am lucky it's her singing to the radio in her car or talking to her baby.
of course, to my knowledge she's never called herself...that's something only YOU could do!
;)
happy you are up and blogging again! the world needs you!!!
Thanks Pammy.
You know I was even using the keylock function. It made a little key picture appear on the phone screen. But it didn't work. Guess why? I read the directions in my manual and it is factory set to "press any key to unlock". Any key. What?!
It makes me imagine a front door lock that you can use any key to unlock. That's useful. So I guess it would keep someone out if they didn't have any type of key at all to put in there. Likewise, if someone did not try to push a single button anywhere on my phone then it would be utterly and completely locked to them. A virtual cellular fortress.
I get around.;)
dammit.
apparently it WASN'T you i was calling, then.
what is a curmudgeon to do?
I am ridiculously glad to see you
:)
higirlie760@aol.com
just in case you want to put that in your blackberry or anything
I admit I really have missed your calls since you got the flip phone......
I hope I was singing, otherwise you didn't really get your money's worth on those calls.
What on earth are you doing all the way back here? What if you slipped into a ravine and no one ever knew what became of you? Such a daredevil.
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