Do it right, do it tonight

I know that pop lyric writing is not exactly the pinnacle of the arts, but are there any standards at all? I think it's time to draw a line. Just one little line. There are a few phrases so grossly overused that I believe a moratorium is required. You can only crank out and refeed us the same musical line so many times before some sort of ugly prion begins to wipe out humanity. It like when you grind up cows and make other cows eat them for dinner. Oh baby baby mad cow disease. There are certain phrases that I just can't hear anymore on the radio without getting a twitch.

Let's start with the obvious: "On and on until the break of dawn".

I'm sorry, we've reached the 1 billion mark on this lyric. I'm calling for a 20 year moratorium. By that time a new generation of pop music listeners will be ready to think "on and on until the break of dawn" is unadulterated genius. Good for them. The same wankers who want to tell you about this really funny movie called Monty Python and the Holy Grail, but secretly they don't think you'd understand the humor.

With some lyrics it's the relentless grinding repetition with others it's the idiot factor. Some goofy phrase that has no business in any song that takes itself so seriously. How about Fergie's, "..like a little school maid in the school yard, we'll play jacks and Uno cards.." How poignant. I just want to yell "bullshit!" when I hear it. In fact I do. I roll my car window down, stick my head out the window while I'm driving and scream "BULLSHIT!!!" at the top of my lungs. (Well, in my mind I do anyway.)

I used to get all riled up about this one R&B song that was on the radio, "Peaches and Cream". He'd repeat "peaches and cream" over and over. It was such a lame song. I'd always say, "Do you think that guy has every actually eaten peaches and cream? Could he even pick a bowl of peaches and cream out of a line up? I bet if I put some ice cream on one side and a bowl of Fruit Loops on the other he'd be hard pressed to differentiate the 3. And listen to how he's using the simile! The situation is nothing LIKE peaches and cream, there no freaking similarity at all!!" Then my husband would ask me how any Diet Cokes I'd had that day. I tried to explain to him it was not the crappiness of the song, it was the hypocrisy of the lyric. Illogical metaphors, lack of social context, the whole thing on my last nerve.

Okay, yes, maybe some of the songs I like don't have the most stellar lyrics. I'll concede. But here's the thing: Snoop Dogg really DON'T love dem ho's. See? It's real. Fo shizzle.

There, it's out of my system. Now I can just turn on some good music and thank the powers above for Jack Johnson. And the Red Hot Chili Peppers.